Today

Today’s the day

that I might wear

my useless, old rope necklace.

And should it fail

which seems inevitable,

i’ll just electrocute my sadness.

s3xnoise:

same

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

i-am-majestic:

hannahbananafeefifofanna:

shavingryansprivates:

how to paint a squirrel

oh

He is the Billy Mays of painting

Mom: why are you doing that?
Me: Because Sherlock holmes did it.
Mom: if Sherlock Holmes jumped off a buildin-
Me: *gross sobbing*

sebastianthedog:

one night two parents went out for dinner

a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room

the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue

when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers

Bees will always warn you before they sting- they warn by headbutting. If a bee is bonking into you, it is not confused, it is giving you a warning to run away. If you do not heed the warning, it will then attempt to defend its family.

moxiearien:

imightnnydtheblankie:

giantspacebees:

jesus fucking christ this is really fucking cute

and also dangerous as shit

deductism:

#this just defines them really doesn’t it #matt with his floppy hair and peace sign and adorably clumsy personality #and benedict with a short salute and flawless slicked hair being the perfect dorky gentleman

GAH I LOVE THEM

tealbluestatic:

My father broke my kite…

Now what am i supposed to do when people want me to leave them alone?